Scared of having kids? After you watch Rose Byrne play a mother desperately trying to manage her daughter’s medical condition, a demanding job and a home life that is falling apart while her husband is away, you’ll be terrified. 

“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is a Safdie-esque fever dream that delivers a refreshing and unfiltered look at parenthood from the female perspective. 

The film explores the impossibly high expectations placed on mothers today, who society expects to be the primary caregivers, work full-time and maintain the home, all while resisting the temptation to escape.

Byrne excels at portraying how her character, Linda, is tormented by the presence of her daughter, whose face is not revealed until the film's final moments, transforming the child into an almost supernatural force that haunts every scene.

The daughter, played by Delaney Quinn, is a constant source of chaos. Her relentless screaming, refusal to eat and the nonstop beeping of her medical device trigger a growing sense of tension that becomes almost unbearable. 

Her volatile and borderline psychopathic behavior pushes both Linda and the audience to the brink of exhaustion.

The supporting cast features a pair of familiar faces whose appearances alone will excite fans. 

Former late-night host Conan O’Brien plays Linda’s therapist, the only person who listens to her, though his willingness to help does not extend beyond the time he bills her for. 

A$AP Rocky, the rapper, artist and fashion icon, plays James, Linda’s neighbor, a charismatic and cocky young man more concerned with having a good time than noticing Linda’s unraveling.

Director Mary Bronstein offers an experience that feels both intimate and overwhelming, thanks to entrancing visuals and an unrelenting soundscape that rarely allows for silence. 

Static hums under dialogue, the pulse of a heartbeat grows faster as tension builds and everyday noises blend into an almost unbearable cacophony.

The film’s sensory overload reflects the constant noise that surrounds mothers, leaving little room for quiet or relief. The 113-minute runtime is tiring by design, immersing the audience in the uncompromising nature of raising a child.

“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is not an easy watch, but it is an important one. Bronstein refuses to soften the realities of motherhood, illustrating how love and resentment can coexist simultaneously. 

The result is a film that lingers long after it ends: a reminder that caring for someone else can be just as self-destructive as it is an act of devotion.

Tickets to “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” can be purchased online.